Goodwill To All Men
OK, let’s get one thing straight from the word go. No person, no animal ever passes away. Never has, never will. They die!
We’re born (we didn’t pass in), we live, we die. Deal with it. “Oh, I’m sorry to hear your father passed away,” you say. What, that will soften the blow for me?
So, please promise me that from 2017 on, you will refrain from using this ridiculous euphemism.
Ok, what’s this got to do with racing you might well ask? One word – Twitter! Please tell your friends, especially those on that social media platform, that nobody is impressed – or even likes it – when they scramble to be the first to tweet some insincere condolence upon the death of someone they didn’t even know.
And, moreso, that the death of a great racehorse is not a ‘tragic’ event. I’ll accept ‘a little saddened’, maybe even ‘disappointed’ – hashtag Saintly (or whichever horse) and here’s a link to one of his great wins. Fine. I’ll cop that, but that’s it.
The King of Thailand died this year. The BBC headline was, as follows: ‘Thailand’s King Bhumibol Adulyadej dead at 88’. Yep, not a hint of passing away.
Leonard Cohen, too, died this year. Now that was sad. Got me thinking about the following line from So Long Marianne.
“It’s time that we began to laugh and cry and cry and laugh about it all again.”
Which pretty much sums up how I feel about Australian horse racing right now. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry about the various issues – cobalt, industry funding, corporate bookmakers, mandatory minimum penalties, leaks, conflicts of interest, whip rules, the top job vacancy at RVL, the vacant chairs at the VRC and RVL; the David Moodie, Kate Goodrich and Racing Australia sagas.
Not to mention something which is perhaps in the spirit of Christmas and that is our propensity to find a place for those who’ve been shunned. Gee, we’re good like that.
To wit, Barry O’Farrell. Good heavens. The once NSW premier who resigned owing to a “massive memory fail” when giving evidence to the Independent Commission Against Corruption (ICAC). Yes, ICAC.
Or you can leave and we’ll take you back. We’re good like that, too. To wit, Andrew Catterall at Racing.Com.
But, for all of that and perhaps overwhelmed by that spirit of Christmas, I remain a believer. I love the game. I do not believe cheating is endemic. I do believe the majority of races are run on their merits.
And I’ve resolved not to be grumpy and bang on about such racing matters at this holy time of the year.
So, what else needs to be banned?
Well, having just travelled – those wretched Qantas uniforms. Pink and orange together? Really.
Blokes with piercings but that’s a given.
The use of the words ‘alluded and referenced’ in the coverage of racing. They’re right up there with ‘passed away’, because 99 per cent of the time, Billy didn’t allude to anything. He said it.
Let’s ban governing bodies from making any rule changes until they have independent boards and more senior management staff who know something about horse racing and then only after they consult with an advisory board of trainers. Trainers are the one link to every facet of the game.
Let’s ban ten race programs which only exist to feed the insatiable turnover god.
Plus we need to ban the allocation of Group One status to any race which is not a definitive target. Even in my beloved Melbourne, it’s a nonsense. During the spring there is just one middle distance race deserving of Group One Status, the Cox Plate (Gr 1, 2040m). Either that or assign a new category – an SG 1 – supreme or superior Group One.
Change is afoot and change is good. Many will think that yesterday’s announcement from the Victorian Labor government was a christmas present come early.
It, of course, announced that it will amend the Racing Act 1958 to create an independent Board for Racing Victoria.
“It is no longer appropriate for the Board of Racing Victoria to be chosen by the people and organisations that it regulates,” said racing minister Martin Pakula.
Independent boards with subject matter expertise among senior management. Pretty simple, I’d have thought. Don’t have to look far for the model – the AFL and yet racing has tended to often go the other way as you could argue with Racing Australia.
Hallelujah for the impending change in Victoria….and God bless Leonard, who died, and Happy Christmas.