STEVE’S introducing his advice column this week
Dear Mike (Symons),
I understand you’ve been a little stressed of late. Did you miss your beloved Cheltenham festival?
My advice is a few days rest and, perhaps, a short holiday. You could go to Sydney for a few days and possibly take in the Doncaster Mile at Randwick. It’s a big handicap race, not unlike your Caulfield Cup.
No, true it is. It’s a handicap. It’s not an April Fool’s joke even though it’s run that day. It’s the race which champions like Winx, Sunline, Super Impose, Maybe Mahal and Gunsynd have won, conceding weight to all or most of their rivals. Confirming their quality and endearing themselves to racing fans in the process.
Just as outstanding horses such as Dunaden, Northerly, Sky Heights, Sydeston, Ming Dynasty, Gay Icarus, Tobin Bronze, Redcraze and Rising Fast have done in your race.
Or we’ve seen a horse or two beat the handicapper in your beautiful Caulfield Cup and later progress to champion or near champion status. For example Might And Power and Let’s Elope. Good heavens, even Tulloch.
Yours remains a true and wonderful handicap where the chance to beat the handicapper is still possible. That’s not often the case now in the Melbourne Cup which has become some sort of hybrid, special weights quality handicap and if you don’t have enough weight, you don’t get a run.
I think your race ain’t broke. It’s been regularly won by ‘nice’ horses in recent years and you’ve had a couple of overseas winners. It’s cavalcade post-war includes Northerly, Might And Power, Let’s Elope, Tobin Bronze, Galilee, Tulloch and Rising Fast whom, I respectfully, submit would be candidates for most fans’ ‘best of all time’ lists.
So, really, a switch to weight-for-age? I think you must have been having a bad day.
Do you really think that a European A-grader is going to bypass the Arc or Champions Day at Ascot in favour of the Caulfield Cup or that the very best from Japan will deviate from a Japan Cup preparation?
So, what’s the point of having B-graders arrive. Now, I could understand that if you told me that overseas broadcast and betting rights would generate millions of dollars in revenue but a) I’m not aware of you saying that and b) I’d be very sceptical if you did.
You do have a 2400 metres weight-for-age race called the Zipping or Sandown Classic. That’s the race I’d be pushing with a huge prize money injection. Would depend on the fall of the October dates in Europe, but more chance then I’d say of getting a very good horse to progress from that part of the world. You might be able to talk to Winfried (EB) in Hong Kong and organise a little Zipping Classic – Hong Kong Vase bonus.
Kind regards…..
Dear Jason (Richardson),
Enjoying your work. Very professional. Although you could be a bit grumpier occasionally. I’d like that.
You probably don’t need a holiday. Very fit, won a Stawell gift and all that. But you do need to quit. There’s no treatment, you just have to quit. Cold turkey.
It’s your obsession with referring to certain racing colours as ‘famous’ – chiefly those being worn by jockeys riding for Sheikh Fahad.
Jason, Sheikh Fahad Al Thani’s colours are not famous. He’s been in the game five minutes. I’m not sure they’re even well known. In fact, truth be told, they’re a bit of rip-off of The Queen’s colours which are famous.
Phar Lap’s colours are famous. The Aga Khan’s, tick. Probably, the Inghams’. Maybe, Dato Tan Chin Nam’s. Possibly, Rick Jamieson’s given that they were worn by Archer in the first two Melbourne Cups.
Anyway, my consulting rooms which are adjacent to the local wine bar (ok, they’re inside the wine bar) are open 5pm until 8pm every evening so feel free to drop in and we can draw up a list of what’s famous and what’s not.
Kind regards….
Dear apprentice jockeys,
No matter what they told you at apprentice school, do not – under any circumstances – say ‘thanks for having me’ when interviewed. You weren’t fed or watered or sheltered. Simply know and use the interviewer’s name. “Good morning Michael,” will well and truly suffice and sound so much more professional and courteous. Same applies to some trainers.
Dear radio and television hosts,
Please do not, under any circumstances, refer to your guests by nicknames or refer to them as ‘mate’. It’s cringeworthy and unprofessional.
Kind regards – Stephen